1. |
Chore
04:45
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At what point did I fuck this up
I lost myself but I gained a crutch
It’s so much harder than I thought it was
Been spending my nights getting too fucked up
I think I’m a mess, I think too much
More dependent than I ever was
There’s a train track
Nestled between my house and work
And I don’t stop at the stop sign
I put my life in the hands of the universe
If there’s a train let it take me
If there’s a train then I guess that it’s my time
And I gasp and I cringe and I hope and I dread
And then it’s over, I’m on the other side
Life’s a short trip
You’re the pilot
I’m not sure that I’m ready to land this thing yet
I've always wanted to drown
My odds are better in the water
So if we go down I’m aiming for the ground
I wanna set myself on fire
Could you please watch
See me burn as bright as I have always seen myself
So you’ll know I’m not a liar
So I can feel all the pain I've always thought I felt
I keep ending up here on the floor
At least in different rooms
So at least I don’t get bored
Oh, existing’s such a chore
It's so strange how some days I end up stuck in bed and other days I don't get stuck until I reach the door
Life’s a short trip
You’re the pilot
I’m not sure that I’m ready to land this thing yet
I've always wanted to drown
My odds are better in the water
So if we go down I’m aiming for the ground
Life’s a short trip
You’re the pilot
There's an answer and I'm sure we'll find it
Try to be enough for myself
You're so strong you don't need help
It's so hard to rely on anyone else
You're so strong you don't need help
I tried to leave the house
I stopped at four different gas stations
Went back to the first and found the nerve to get out
But when I finally made it in, couldn't decide what to get
I went and hid in the bathroom, it's my favorite anxious habit
Then I went back home, I gave up and got stoned
I can hardly face the world, I sure as hell can't face it alone
I'm holding out for something more, let's see what life has in store for me
I'll try to keep breathing, but existing's such a chore
So I am holding out for more, let’s see what life has in store for me
I’ll try to keep breathing, but existing's such a chore
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2. |
Anatomy of a Crush
02:08
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I saw you twice in one night with tears in your eyes
The second time we were standing on my back porch watching the rain, watching the sky
You went on about the world being beautiful and how that made you emotional
I couldn't help but think it was beautiful to see someone so passionate about life
We couldn't see the stars but you said you could feel them
I couldn't feel the stars but I felt something
I wanna tell you that I think you're adorable
But I think I'd rather you just kick me in the shins
Cause I've never been in a relationship
So by default I'm terrified and desperate
Awkward and uncomfortable
I don't want to be vulnerable again
I'm so over the small talk and wondering
Could you please just kiss me or crush this
I spend too much time thinking of where I belong
What could go right and what’s gonna go wrong
It isn’t a matter of writing a song
It’s pitching a plot line if you want to play along
But this is more for me than I will ever lead on
But this is more for me than I will ever lead on
But this is more for me than I will ever lead on
But this is more for me than I will ever lead on
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3. |
Make Me Whole
02:51
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I am empty but I will
Put these pills inside myself and make me whole
So far they've just made me sick
They're telling me I have a couple more weeks to go
Making the phone call wasn’t so bad
But sitting in that waiting room made me sick
Questioning if I even belong here
As I stared at my reflection and pretended to not exist
I thought I could face this all by myself
But here I am, giving in and getting help
They think that my head is affecting my health
They think that my head is affecting my health
I work myself up my blood pressure’s too high
I stopped eating salt ‘cause I’m too young to die
There’s a point where it’s all in your head starts taking its toll
On more than just your mind
I am empty but I will
Put these pills inside myself and make me whole
So far they've just made me sick
They're telling me I have a couple more weeks to go
Of headaches and incessant sleeping
A mix of nausea, lack of appetite, and dry heaving
Blurred vision wasn’t on that list
But now I’m running in circles and trying to fight this
Spent twelve hours shaking went back to the doctor’s
This is supposed to help me not make everything worse
My head feels like lightning, my body’s the thunder
Rumbling beneath me, oh, everything hurts
So here’s what we’ll do, we will try something new
We will find something that will work better for you
So here’s what we’ll do, we will try something new
We will find something that will work better for you
I thought I could face this all by myself
But here I am, giving in and getting help
They think that my head is affecting my health
They think that my head is affecting my health
I work myself up my blood pressure’s too high
I stopped eating salt ‘cause I’m too young to die
There’s a point where it’s all in your head starts taking its toll
On more than just your mind
I am empty but I will
Put these pills inside myself and make me whole
So far they've just made me sick
They're telling me I have a couple more weeks to go
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Caving Thayer, Indiana
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