Caving

by Caving

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1.
04:45
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released October 7, 2016

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Caving Thayer, Indiana

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Track Name: Chore
At what point did I fuck this up

I lost myself but I gained a crutch

It’s so much harder than I thought it was

Been spending my nights getting too fucked up

I think I’m a mess, I think too much

More dependent than I ever was


There’s a train track

Nestled between my house and work

And I don’t stop at the stop sign

I put my life in the hands of the universe

If there’s a train let it take me

If there’s a train then I guess that it’s my time

And I gasp and I cringe and I hope and I dread

And then it’s over, I’m on the other side


Life’s a short trip

You’re the pilot

I’m not sure that I’m ready to land this thing yet

I've always wanted to drown

My odds are better in the water

So if we go down I’m aiming for the ground


I wanna set myself on fire

Could you please watch

See me burn as bright as I have always seen myself

So you’ll know I’m not a liar

So I can feel all the pain I've always thought I felt

I keep ending up here on the floor

At least in different rooms

So at least I don’t get bored

Oh, existing’s such a chore

It's so strange how some days I end up stuck in bed and other days I don't get stuck until I reach the door


Life’s a short trip

You’re the pilot

I’m not sure that I’m ready to land this thing yet

I've always wanted to drown

My odds are better in the water

So if we go down I’m aiming for the ground


Life’s a short trip

You’re the pilot

There's an answer and I'm sure we'll find it


Try to be enough for myself

You're so strong you don't need help

It's so hard to rely on anyone else

You're so strong you don't need help


I tried to leave the house

I stopped at four different gas stations

Went back to the first and found the nerve to get out

But when I finally made it in, couldn't decide what to get

I went and hid in the bathroom, it's my favorite anxious habit

Then I went back home, I gave up and got stoned

I can hardly face the world, I sure as hell can't face it alone

I'm holding out for something more, let's see what life has in store for me

I'll try to keep breathing, but existing's such a chore

So I am holding out for more, let’s see what life has in store for me

I’ll try to keep breathing, but existing's such a chore
Track Name: Anatomy of a Crush
I saw you twice in one night with tears in your eyes

The second time we were standing on my back porch watching the rain, watching the sky

You went on about the world being beautiful and how that made you emotional

I couldn't help but think it was beautiful to see someone so passionate about life


We couldn't see the stars but you said you could feel them

I couldn't feel the stars but I felt something


I wanna tell you that I think you're adorable

But I think I'd rather you just kick me in the shins

Cause I've never been in a relationship

So by default I'm terrified and desperate

Awkward and uncomfortable

I don't want to be vulnerable again

I'm so over the small talk and wondering

Could you please just kiss me or crush this


I spend too much time thinking of where I belong

What could go right and what’s gonna go wrong

It isn’t a matter of writing a song

It’s pitching a plot line if you want to play along


But this is more for me than I will ever lead on

But this is more for me than I will ever lead on

But this is more for me than I will ever lead on

But this is more for me than I will ever lead on
Track Name: Make Me Whole
I am empty but I will

Put these pills inside myself and make me whole

So far they've just made me sick

They're telling me I have a couple more weeks to go


Making the phone call wasn’t so bad

But sitting in that waiting room made me sick

Questioning if I even belong here

As I stared at my reflection and pretended to not exist


I thought I could face this all by myself

But here I am, giving in and getting help

They think that my head is affecting my health

They think that my head is affecting my health


I work myself up my blood pressure’s too high

I stopped eating salt ‘cause I’m too young to die

There’s a point where it’s all in your head starts taking its toll

On more than just your mind


I am empty but I will

Put these pills inside myself and make me whole

So far they've just made me sick

They're telling me I have a couple more weeks to go


Of headaches and incessant sleeping

A mix of nausea, lack of appetite, and dry heaving

Blurred vision wasn’t on that list

But now I’m running in circles and trying to fight this


Spent twelve hours shaking went back to the doctor’s

This is supposed to help me not make everything worse

My head feels like lightning, my body’s the thunder

Rumbling beneath me, oh, everything hurts

So here’s what we’ll do, we will try something new

We will find something that will work better for you

So here’s what we’ll do, we will try something new

We will find something that will work better for you


I thought I could face this all by myself

But here I am, giving in and getting help

They think that my head is affecting my health

They think that my head is affecting my health


I work myself up my blood pressure’s too high

I stopped eating salt ‘cause I’m too young to die

There’s a point where it’s all in your head starts taking its toll

On more than just your mind


I am empty but I will

Put these pills inside myself and make me whole

So far they've just made me sick

They're telling me I have a couple more weeks to go